Did you hear about all these suspicious get-togethers at Trump Towers? I mean the ones with Russkies. I’m not seeing how the mayor de Blasio puts up with that. You hear enough bad things about New York without it.
I was thinking maybe he didn’t know. He could be too busy to follow up on all that Trump stuff. So thinking I was doing him a favor I wrote to him just to let him know. It was a warning. Look at my letter
Bill de Blasio
Mayor of New York City
New York, New York
Dear Your Honor,
What an honor this is for me. Gosh I’m writing to the mayor of our country’s biggest city. I’ve been there a lot. It sure is big. They call it the big apple, you know. My friend Dana says you’re the big cheese of the big apple. I don’t know if it was meant as a nice comment. Anyway it sounds really important to me.
There’s one thing about New York that worries me. It’s the Trump Tower skyscraper building. Dana, the friend I mentioned, says it’s a den of Russian spies. It doesn’t make sense to me. I say how can a tower be a den? A den is like a hole where bears live in the winter. Dana laughed at me and said “Yeah it’s full of Russian bears.”
Mr. Mayor, is all that true? I saw something on TV about one of the Trump kids. It said he was doing something fishy with Russians in that building. Why allow New York City to be used as a hot bed for spies? That’s not American, is it?
Can’t you do something about this? Maybe close off the street so the Russians can’t get in? Here’s another idea. Just condemn the damn building. That’d fix those spies.
Maybe you have your own idea. It’d probably be better than mine, I know. Do something now. You have my support.
America needs your leadership.
Sincerely,
Travis V. Nordale
travis@travis-nordale.online
I doubt Mr. de Blasio ever saw my letter. My answer came from someone called The City of New York. Yea, I know that’s not a real person. It’s probably just some kind of machine. But look what the big darn city of New York wrote back:
Dear TRAVIS NORDALE:
Thank you for contacting the City of New York. Your message has been forwarded to the appropriate agency for review and handling.
For future reference, your service request number is 1-1-1442932285.
Sincerely,
The City of New York
Well thank you Mr. Mayor. I hope your freaky machine forwards my letter to the appropriate agency. Dana told me that agency is probably just another machine. Geez. How’s this Trump Russian stuff ever going to get cleaned up if they’ve just got machines working on it?
You’re welcome to use my service request number if you want to write to de Blasio. I’m not writing again. Tell him I said they should replace him with a machine next time they vote in New York.